there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
