when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
