So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
