yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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