He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
COCAINE IS GR8
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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