Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize