I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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