Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
