remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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