god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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