somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
