I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
