Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
