Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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