is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My life is pants optional.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
