somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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