Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
