they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
