I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
