i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
