I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
