I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I have already put on my inside pants.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
