Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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