Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize