I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
