I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
