I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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