If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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