party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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