Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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