im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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