btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
