Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
