I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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