Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Less talking, more tequila
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
