so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
