this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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