he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
