Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
