she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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