you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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