One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
how do flat chested girls get laid?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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