And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
