we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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