god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
