I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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