Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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