he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
