I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just want to make out with him forever
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
