Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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