So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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