Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
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