what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
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Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
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She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"