trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
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It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
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She needs sedatives and a leash
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."