you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
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He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
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The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."