I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
