but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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