Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
