about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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