If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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