NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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