Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
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She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize