I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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