Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
