I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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