Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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