I wish they made helmets for livers.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
you had me at cake vodka
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize