he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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