im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
