and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
